


Forget Me Not

by IntrovertedHappiness



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Happy Ending, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Modern Era, it's finnnnne, mentions of abuse, wowie that's a lotta stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-27 04:11:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21112433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntrovertedHappiness/pseuds/IntrovertedHappiness
Summary: Taako hadn't meant to end up here. He had just let his emotions get the better of him, so he got in the car and left before anyone could say anything. He hadn't meant to get in a crash. He hadn't meant to be checked into the hospital. He hadn't MEANT for whoever this person was to start crying when he said he didn't know who she was. It wasn't his fault he didn't have siblings and that fact just shook this chick so hard that she left in tears. None of it was because of him. He hadn't MEANT for any of this to happen.





	Forget Me Not

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!! This is a really long fic that I wrote and edited in two days so yeah. All I can really ask is that you heed the warnings in the tags and stuff. But if you're good with the warnings and the angst to come, then please enjoy!!!

Taako woke up to the sound of beeping. He struggled to open his eyes for a few seconds and was practically blinded when they finally  _ did _ open. The lights in this room were far too bright, giving him a strong headache. He couldn’t really process where he was or what was happening. Everything felt… numb. Far too numb to be real, so he figured this must be a dream or something.

He looked around and noticed something odd. He wasn’t at home. He wasn’t even in his kitchen, at work. In fact, he only knew where he was for the fact that he had been here so many times as a kid- he was in the hospital, connected to a few machines that beeped and buzzed every few seconds. The room was stark white, adding to his headache. The sheets were kind of scratchy but warm nevertheless. He noticed someone in the chair next to his hospital bed, who looked oddly familiar.

She looked… like him. Which was very, very odd, Taako thought. They had the same color hair, the same basic face shape. Even the freckles that dotted her face were the same as his, even if in slightly different places. She was currently stirring from sleep and Taako couldn’t tear his eyes away when she finally woke up completely. They had the same eye color, too. 

“Taako?” she asked and Taako didn’t know how the  _ hell _ she knew his name. “You’re finally awake!”

How long had he been out for her to feel like she had to say that?

“Are you feeling okay?” she went on. “I was so worried, Taako, they called me and said you were in surgery and I was so  _ scared _ -”

All at once, Taako realized that his ribs and head were aching. His right arm was in a cast, lying beside him uselessly. He felt kind of sore but mostly numb. He wondered why they had called her when he had… when he had what? Crashed? Got beat up? Who honestly knew? 

“...so they’re only letting family in here right now.” Oh, she was still talking. Was she family? Taako couldn’t remember meeting a family member who looked so similar to him. Sure, his aunt looked kind of like him. So did his grandfather. But they had both died such a long time ago that Taako could barely even recall that information. Maybe she was a cousin or someone he hadn’t met? He decided he should ask.

“Uh,” Taako noticed at once that his voice sounded rough and unused and broken. “Who are you?”

That made her stop. Not just stop talking but physically freeze, her eyes going wide and surprised. He shifted uncomfortably in his bed and went on.

“‘Cause, uh, I appreciate you coming but you said like… only my family was allowed in here? And as far as I know my- my aunt and my grandfather are dead and I don’t… have anyone else? Cause like… My parents fucked off to who knows where, I don’t have any siblings, so are you like… a cousin I don’t know, or?”

“You…” she said after a small moment of silence. “You don’t have any siblings?”

“Nah,” Taako confirmed, watching as her anxious face grew into a  _ panic _ . “Not that I know of.”

“Oh,” she said, her voice wobbly and Taako looked away, not having the heart to watch anyone cry right now.

“Yeah,” he said, shutting his eyes tiredly. “As I said, I appreciate you coming, but I, uh, I don’t know you?”

His heart wrenched at the sound of a sob but he kept his eyes shut as she talked.

“You don’t remember me?” god, she sounded really destroyed over this. “At all?”

“Should I?” Taako asked.

“Yeah, you should!” she said, voice so desperate that Taako finally opened his eyes. There were tears streaming down her face. He grimaced.

“I, uh, I’m sorry?” he said, not really sounding like he was but hoping that the statement alone would make her feel better. It didn’t. It did quite the opposite actually, more tears falling down her face. Her lower lip was wobbling and Taako felt that alone was familiar, but then remembered that he did that, too, when he was upset. He opened his mouth to talk again, but she beat him to it.

“I’m… I’m gonna go,” she choked out. “It was nice to see you awake, Koko.”

She left and Taako just  _ sat _ there, not going after her, not even making to get up. He lay back in his bed, pulling the blankets up over his chest. He tried to think about her more, but all that his mind brought up was static. He wondered how she knew the name “Koko” because the last person to call him that (his aunt) was long dead. He sat in silence for a little while longer, half awake as doctors and nurses came in and out. None of them told him who that person had been, probably because he didn’t have the heart to ask.

“I think,” one of the doctors said two or three hours after the person had left, “that we’re gonna allow your friends to come in now. Would that be alright with you?”

“Sure,” Taako agreed, trying to scan his memories for any friends he might have. He tensed at one memory and asked the doctor before he left: “If there’s anyone out there named… uh, named Sazed, please don’t let them in.”

“Got it,” the doctor said with a smile.

He sat up in bed, clutching his head when the doctor left. Oh so  _ now _ he could remember someone, that’s just great. Taako swore softly to himself, trying not to let his memories pull him in too far. He only looked up when he heard the door creak open and footsteps pile into the room.

“Hey, bud.”

It was Merle and Magnus. Oh, thank god, people  _ he _ knew. Sure, they were idiots but at least they weren’t bad. Taako couldn’t help himself, he split into a smile, and Magnus pulled him into a hug that was much softer than any he had gotten before. Merle patted his knee.

“How’re you feelin’?” Merle asked, plopping into a chair that Magnus had pulled directly next to the bed. 

“Fine,” Taako said, trying not to seem like he was too messed up about the memory thing. Merle and Magnus seemed like they didn’t believe him, so Taako rolled his eyes. “Really, my dudes, Taako’s feelin’  _ peachy _ .”

“If you say so,” Magnus said with a shrug. “Do you remember what happened?”

“When?” Taako laughed, almost forcefully. “A lot has happened.”

“Last night,” Magnus said, sounding kind of concerned. “When you…?”

“Ah,” Taako said as if he understood, but he didn’t. There was a pause before Taako said, “uh, no I don’t remember.”

“Would you like to know?” Magnus asked and Taako nodded, eager to find out. “Okay so like… we were hanging over at your place for dinner. We- we meaning Merle, Lup, Barry, you know, the whole gang- we were hanging out in the living room and we just heard like… shouting? I- it’s kinda a blur for me, honestly, because it all happened so fast but-

You come out from one of the rooms on the side hallway, then kinda just like, storm out. And we all  _ assume _ that you and Krav had an argument, which he later confirmed. But Lup said you probably just went to the porch to calm down and that we should give you a few minutes. Kravitz comes out and goes to the porch- he’s looking kind of sad, really, but then he comes back inside looking kinda- well, not kinda but  _ really _ panicked. He asks us if we had heard or seen you get in your car and-”

Magnus was tearing up as he went on. “We- we were thinking about where you would have  _ gone _ . Maybe you were just driving? Maybe you went to a park or something. Or you were planning to go to a park because during this discussion Lup got a call and-”

He broke off completely now, putting his head down. Taako felt guilt prickle at him. He had made two people cry in less than five hours. He saw Merle patting Magnus’s back, picking up the story where Magnus had left off.

“It was real scary, you know,” Merle said. “We came over as fast as possible but when they were done with your medical exams and stuff they’d only let Lup into the room. Not even Barry. Not even  _ Kravitz _ was allowed in and he’s-”

“Wait, hang on,” Taako said at once, all the information he had just heard catching up with him. “Two things- One: Is Lup the person who came in earlier? Two: Who the fuck is Kravitz?”

There was silence. Magnus looked up at him again, almost in shock. Merle took his hand from Magnus’s back, putting it in his lap to fiddle with his other hand. The silence was broken by Taako, still questioning.

“If Lup was the person who came in earlier tell her, uh, uh, tell her I’m sorry. I think she’ll probably take it from you better than she did from me because… I don’t know why, really.” He took a deep breath and went on. “Secondly, I seriously don’t know what is going on still. Like, yeah, I get it, I was in a car crash, but why was I arguing with… Kravitz, was it? Why were Lup and Kravitz at my house if I don’t know them? If Kravitz and I were arguing then  _ why _ isn’t he in here talking to me about it?”

“Because he’s scared!” Magnus said at once, which made Taako quiet down. “He’s scared because he feels like this is all his fault and he’s scared because Lup came out _ crying _ and he’s-”

“It’s not my fault she was crying!” Taako said, feeling angry now. “I can’t really help her feel better if I don’t know who she is!”

“But you should know!” Magnus said, frustrated.

“Yeah, I got that,” Taako shot back. “I should know whoever this “Lup” is! I should know “Kravitz”! I  _ should know _ whatever the fuck is going on, but I don’t! Look, I’m just a really big idiot- you know I am- so just let me exist not knowing them.”

Magnus opened his mouth to retort but Merle got there first.

“We should go,” he said, standing up. Magnus looked like he wanted to protest, but Merle shot him  _ That Look _ and he stood up, shuffling over to the door without much of a goodbye, hands gripped into tight fists.

“See ya later, Taako,” Merle said and the door squeaked closed.

So Taako was alone again, anger boiling down into exhaustion. He turned over onto his side with a huff. Magnus was so hot-headed sometimes that it made Taako want to slap him. Merle, as always, tried to bring peace to their arguments but just  _ them leaving _ made Taako feel like he wasn’t good to be around. Not to mention his messed up memory made him feel more stupid than he already was. He shut his eyes tightly, fists gripping the end of his shirt.

Lights flashed behind his eyelids. Loud car horns. Memories of anger and tiredness consumed his very being and he couldn’t remember  _ why _ . Magnus had said he was arguing with Kravitz and stormed out. Who the _ fuck _ was Kravitz? Why couldn’t he remember? His mind was replaying the crash as he thought about the people he couldn’t remember. It had hurt so much and Taako thought that he would never get out from under the pile of rubble he was stuck in. He remembered the sirens growing closer and trying desperately to keep his eyes open, repeating something in his head.

Repeating the words “I’m sorry” in his head. Over and over and over until it made him physically sick to even think about saying anything else. He had passed out before they had even gotten him out from the rubble.

He must have passed out again because the next time he opened his eyes, the sunlight that had been outside his window was fading into the night sky. He shifted, bones popping as he turned onto his back. He remembered very vaguely nurses coming in- “here, take this pill” or “how are you feeling?” Taako was getting tired of that question, despite only being in here for… a few hours? A day? He didn’t know.

“How are you feeling” was such a loaded question anyway.

This time when Taako looked around, there was yet  _ another _ unfamiliar person sitting in the chair next to him. He had darker skin and looked exhausted like he was barely keeping his eyes open. To keep himself awake, he had brought a book. Taako couldn’t see the cover but there were too many pages to count and the man wasn’t even halfway through. The book was slipping out of his grasp as he dozed off and Taako had to catch his attention with a loud “hey!” so that he wouldn’t drop it.

The man jerked awake with a start, eyes flying open, his grip on the book tightening. His head turned in Taako’s direction and they met eyes. Taako thought he had pretty eyes.

“Taako!” the man said. “Hello!”

“Sup,” Taako said. “Who are you?”

Even though he had gotten to the point right away this time, there was still a bad reaction. The man’s face was blank for a second, then he grimaced, and then he seemed to understand.

“I, uh, I’m Kravitz,” he said. “I take it you don’t remember m-”

“Nope,” Taako cut in. “But Mags  _ did _ tell me about you.”

“Did he?” Kravitz said, sounding as if he already knew the information but was trying to sound engaged. 

“Yeah,” Taako said, leaning back in bed, recalling Magnus’s words. “He said we had an argument. Dunno about what but it must have been pretty bad.”

“It… it was,” Kravitz said shakily. “I came to apologize, Taako, I shouldn’t have-”

“Magnus said you were scared,” Taako interrupted again. “I mean, I guess everyone was scared, which was silly. But he said you blamed yourself.”

“I-”

“Don’t,” Taako said. “Don’t blame yourself, I mean. I’m guessing you know me even if I don’t know you so you should know this already. I’m just like… I’m an idiot, my dude. Simple idiot Taako here. I’m not claiming to be smart and I never will.

Like, yeah, I can do math and stuff, I guess. But when it comes to emotions? My intelligence is  _ gone _ , you dig? What must have happened is that I wasn’t understanding your emotions and I got angry and I just left? None of that has to do with you, my dude, it’s all Taako.”

“That’s…” Kravitz said after a small pause. “I… okay.”

Taako chuckled, rolling his eyes. They sat in silence for a while, Taako looking anywhere except Kravitz. He sighed heavily and rolled his shoulders before asking,

“Do you know when I can go home?”

“Uh,” Kravitz said. “I can ask?”

At Taako’s nod, he got up and left the room. Taako took the time to realize how  _ gross _ he felt. His skin was dirty and bandaged. His arm, ribs, and head all ached and he shuddered, feeling his skin prickle. He looked up at the bright ceiling lights, counting the dots on the pattern on the ceiling. They were too small to even see properly, but he tried his best. He heard Kravitz come back in and lost count.

“Probably tomorrow or the day after that, they say,” Kravitz told him, settling into the chair again.

“Cool,” Taako said.

\--

Turns out, it was the day after tomorrow that Taako went home. Insisting that he didn’t need help, Taako made his way over to Barry’s car with a limp. Over the past two days, Taako had reconnected with all of his friends. Barry, Lucretia, and Davenport were all people he knew, though barely. Taako had been surprised to see  _ them _ of all people coming to visit. Especially Barry.

The first time Taako had seen Barry after the accident, he nearly jumped out of his skin. He and… Lup… had come in together. When Barry waved hello anxiously, Taako was left with his mouth hanging open, in complete and utter shock.

“But,” Taako had said, disbelieving, “I thought you were dead!”

That had stopped both of them right in their tracks. Barry opened and closed his mouth several times as if he had something profound to say, but Lup beat him to the words.

“ _ What _ ?”

Taako went on to explain that Barry really  _ shouldn’t _ be alive, breathing, standing in front of him right now. He had died when that town- that town Taako didn’t seem to remember the name of- had caught on fire, burning down to the ground in an instant. Taako described in  _ detail _ how he had hidden at the bottom of some well while the town burned. He recalled the smoke and how he had been packed in there with three other people. He recalled the look of discomfort he had seen on Magnus’s face, the look of sadness on Merle’s. He remembered that they had landed on this orc named Killian, who he  _ had _ seen since the incident, but never apologized. 

Barry and Lup had stared at him in horror.

Even more so was what happened when Lucretia and Davenport came to visit. Lucretia apologized for both of them for not being able to visit earlier- they had come last night but the nurses said that Taako had been sleeping and they decided not to bother him. When Davenport agreed with the statements and apologized for himself, Taako was thrown into another shock.

“ _ You can talk?! _ ”

Apparently, Taako’s memory had lied once more. Davenport could say more than one word now and Lucretia just worked at a… library? And not as a Director of some secret organization? Which made him feel  _ stupid _ when he had said it out loud, but that’s what he thought was true. But no, all of that was false, and Taako was made to look like a fool once more.

Now, he was sitting in Barry’s car, waiting to be driven home. Whatever home was now, anyway, because he had moved house sometime when he started dating Kravitz.

Now  _ that _ was something he found crazy. He and Kravitz not only dating but  _ living _ together. Lup (who was his  ** _sister_ ** \- what the  _ fuck _ ??????) said they had been together for over five years. That they lived in a house near her and Barry. That Magnus lived nearby, too, and Merle, Lucretia, and Davenport all lived in separate apartments a few miles away.

“Ready, T?” Lup asked from the front passenger seat. She had seemed to accept the fact that Taako didn’t know her over the past few days, which Taako thought was awfully quick for someone who claimed to care so much.

“Yeah,” he answered, clicking his seatbelt on. Barry started the car and they were off, going down the parking garage slowly. Taako felt a bit of panic rising up in his throat and he pushed it back down as they exited the garage and went onto the main street again. He could vaguely remember where he was as they passed tall buildings and  _ lots _ of other cars.

“We’re in Neverwinter, right?” Taako asked, looking out the window to gaze at the street signs.

“Yeah,” Barry’s gruff voice answered.

“I took a train here once,” Taako said, almost reminiscent. “Don’t remember why I was on the train, but I’m pretty sure Magnus almost died.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Barry asked as they stopped at a stoplight.

“Yeah,” Taako went on. “He was like… fighting someone and then we almost crashed the train but it’s cool because it only crashed into a garden and not into the train station.”

“Taako,” Barry said seriously. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Greenlight, babe,” Lup said from her seat and Barry started moving again.

The ride home went relatively okay. Taako spent the rest of the drive switching between looking at his phone (which he had been given a few hours ago) and looking out the window. There weren’t a lot of apps on his phone, but his notepad was full of recipes and stupid quotes he had overheard. He opened his text messages, scrolling through the names, feeling more uncomfortable by the second.

Lup, apparently, was in his contacts, with a little flame emoji next to her name. After some searching, Taako found Kravitz, too, his contact name just titled “Fav Boy” with a few hearts after it. Barry and the rest of his friends were there too. But all that Taako could focus on was Lup and Kravitz’s contacts. So he  _ did _ know them. Or he used to, at the very least. It made him very uncomfortable to know that his memories were, in fact, false. Why were they in his head if they weren’t real then?

Taako clicked on Kravitz’s name, opening up their messages. The very last message he had sent Kravitz was four days ago, at 1 in the afternoon.

**Fav Boy: I’m heading home now**

**Taako: Coolio, stay safe**

**Fav Boy: I will. Love you**

**Taako: Lov u too bone boi**

While it was truly hilarious that he called Kravitz “bone boi”, Taako couldn’t help but stare at the unfinished words in the messaging bar. His eyes were glued to them as they drove.

**Taako, unsent: Look, I’m sorry, okay, I overreacted. I shouldn’t ha**

The message ended there, which made Taako wince. He gripped his head, still staring at his phone. He didn’t remember  _ why _ he had crashed, but maybe it was because he had been texting and driving? Though that didn’t sound like something he’d do, no matter what the case was. Still, he couldn’t rule out that possibility. He looked up from his phone to see that they had entered a neighborhood, full of cozy little houses and neatly kept lawns. He supposed this is where he lived.

They pulled into a house at the end of a street, and Barry turned the car off. The driveway was big enough to fit two cars, which it currently was. Barry’s car was on the right and someone else’s on the left. They got out (Taako carefully so) and made their way to the door. Lup pulled out a pair of keys and unlocked the door, ushering Taako inside.

It looked  _ kind of  _ familiar. It was very cozy but also sort of modern. With splashes of blue, gray, and black, it certainly made Taako feel homey. Lup shut the door behind them and they moved further in, Taako marveling at the interior decorating. It reminded him of how he had wanted his own home to look like as a kid, and this almost matched perfectly. He entered the living room, where big windows let sunshine fade in peacefully. It felt nice, to apparently own this for himself.

The living room led to a hallway and a door. Said door opened as soon as Taako looked at it and Kravitz came through it, holding a water bottle. He handed it to Taako silently and Taako took it, noticing it was already opened so he wouldn’t have to struggle to do so with his cast on. Taako nodded at Kravitz and sat down on one of the couches. The feeling of it felt so,  _ so _ familiar, but at the same time? Not too familiar.

Not too not familiar, though.

“Welcome- uh, home, Taako,” Kravitz finally greeted as he, Lup, and Barry sat down.

“Mhmm,” Taako said through a mouth full of water. He swallowed, taking his phone out again and leaning back on the couch to make himself comfortable. The rest of them just sort of… sat there. As if they were waiting for each other to say something- for  _ Taako _ to say something. He turned on his phone again and was met face to face with his unfinished message to Kravitz. He decided to speak up about it.

“So uh,” he said awkwardly, and they all turned to him at once. “Does anyone know why I crashed?”

There was a pause, all of them looking afraid to speak up. Finally, Lup was the one to talk.

“There was… a driver,” Lup said, voice a bit shaky. “Who wasn’t  _ supposed  _ to be driving and he ran a red light and just sorta… crashed into you at full speed.”

“Oh,” Taako said, eyes skirting down to look at the message on his phone. “Okay.”

“Why?” Lup asked. “Do you remember anything else?”

“Well, I-” Taako started, then stopped. “Hm.”

“Hm?” Kravitz asked.

“Yeah, uh.” He stopped again, thinking. “You guys are like… close to me, right?” There was a chorus of agreement, so he went on. “So like, I can tell you guys stuff?”

“Of course,” Kravitz said and again, Taako looked down at the unsent message, heartbeat picking up.

“Well, I uh- I was texting. When I was driving, I mean.”

“But you’ve never done that befo-” Lup started, but Taako cut in.

“I know,” he said tiredly. “I didn’t remember it until I opened my phone and saw this message I was typing.”

“Oh?” Barry asked and Taako hated how caring he sounded. How caring they  _ all  _ sounded.

“Yeah,” he said anyway, despite his discomfort.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Kravitz said, “who wer-”

“You,” Taako said before Kravitz even finished his sentence. He opened up his phone again because it had turned off, and read the message out loud. His voice was shaky as he read. “‘Look, I’m sorry, okay, I- I overreacted. I shouldn’t-’” He closed his phone again, clutching his hands into fists to slow his shaking. “That’s it.”

They were silent again. Taako shifted, breathing deeply to calm himself down. 

“Taako…” Kravitz said slowly and Taako couldn’t stop the tears from forming in his eyes. He wiped them away, mentally cursing.  _ I get it _ , he told himself,  _ I’m upset but that doesn’t mean I know him like I used to _ -

His thoughts were cut off as strong arms wrapped around him and suddenly he was  _ enveloped  _ in a hug. Kravitz’s hands on his back were cold and clammy in contrast to Taako’s too hot skin. He felt Kravitz shaking and Taako realized at once that Kravitz was  _ crying _ and he didn’t know what to do with that. So he just rubbed small circles into Kravitz’s back, looking over at Lup and Barry, who looked just as shocked as him. Kravitz murmured something brokenly but Taako couldn’t hear.

“Repeat that for me, Krav?”

“I’m  _ sorry _ ,” Kravitz choked out, holding Taako tighter. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have argued, I should have just let it  _ go _ -”

“ _ I _ should have let it go,” Taako said stubbornly, even though he had no idea what “it” was. “I shouldn’t have stormed out like that, I shouldn’t have got in my car-”

“-and I’m sorry that I couldn’t  _ save you _ from the crash,” Kravitz continued. “I should have come out after you, I should have stopped you-”

“You can’t control what I do though,” Taako went on. “You didn’t know it was gonna happen, you couldn’t have stopped it! I’m-”

“Gods, Taako, I’m so-”

“Sorry!” they said at once, together. And the ever-present silence settled back between them, as they were still hanging onto each other tightly. Well, it was more Kravitz hanging onto Taako, sobs still racking his body, but Taako’s grip had definitely tightened. He looked up again, locking eyes with Barry, who had Lup leaning her head into his neck. Taako hoped she wasn’t crying.

Kravitz pulled back at last, teary-eyed and sniffling. Taako’s heart ached for him.

Then, Taako’s  _ head _ ached and he slumped against the couch, dizzy and confused and god why was it so  _ bright _ in here? Hadn’t it just been night time? Where was he? He tightened his hands into fists, trying to feel his grip on something that wasn’t there. His arms ached from the force of trying to redirect his Umbrastaff away from Kravitz’s back and- wait, was his arm in a  _ cast _ ? When had that happened? He shook his head as he heard voices panic above him. Through the blinding sunlight, Taako could see the outline of a few people- three, he thought. He groaned.

“Taako?” one of them was saying. “Taako, are you okay? Do we need to go back to the hospital?”

“Fuck no,” Taako said through his haziness. “Taako’s good out here.”

“ _ Taako you just collapsed _ ,” the voice said shrilly and Taako couldn’t help it. He laughed, from a snigger into a full out stomach laugh. His vision was cleaning now and he saw Kravitz gazing down on him with- was that  _ Barry Bluejeans _ ? Was he dead? Not to mention that other person, who looked alarmingly like him, so much so that Taako felt uncomfortable at her presence. 

“Uh, Koko, why are you-”

And with that, Taako was brought back down firmly into the present. His gaze turned icy, and he glared at the person who looked like him with a renewed passion.

“ _ Don’t call me that _ ,” he snarled at once and they all- including Kravitz, dang, he had just gotten on his good side- looked alarmed. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“I’m… I’m sorry?” the person tried. “I shouldn’t have-”

“No, you really shouldn’t have,” Taako huffed, pushing himself up and looking around. When he didn’t recognize the room, he asked, still sounding angry, “where am I?”

“Uhh,” Kravitz said, suddenly looking extremely worried. “You're at home, Taako, you just got here a while ago. Don’t you remember?”

“No,” Taako said. “And what do you mean  _ home _ , my dude? I think you know that cha’boy doesn’t really have… you know, a “home” or whatever. I mean, I live on the moonbase but I wouldn’t call it  _ home _ .”

“Moonbase?” Kravitz questioned. 

“I- what?” Taako asked, eyebrows raising. “We were literally  _ just there _ Krav, what do you mean “moonbase”? Did you hit your head? How did we get here?”

“Hold on, hold on,” Barry cut in. He looked a lot different than when Taako had last seen him. Cleaner, at the very least, with new, not torn clothing, and a less bloody face. “Did you like… forget again? Like, what the fuck just happened?”

“Forget what?” Taako said, almost exasperated. “I think you all are the ones with memory problems! First off-” he pointed a finger at Kravitz, jabbing his chest. “You and I were just coming back from the Chug n’ Squeeze when my stupid umbrella tried to  _ kill you _ .” He pointed at Barry now. “Second off! How the fuck are you alive?”

“I never died!” Barry said, throwing his hands up. “We discussed this! There wasn’t any fire, you weren’t in any  _ well _ -”

“Your  _ umbrella _ tried to kill me?” Kravitz asked, cutting Barry off.

“Yeah,” Taako said. “I mean, you're already dead so maybe you just would have lost some hit points but-”

“Already dead?!” Kravitz asked, his voice rising a pitch.

“Yeah?” Taako repeated, growing more confused by the second. “You’re like… the grim reaper or whatever, remember? You tried to take Magnus and Merle and me to ghost jail or whatever? How do you  _ not _ remember it?”

“Because it didn’t happen!” Barry said loudly.

“It did, though!” Taako insisted. “I remember vividly Kravitz calling Merle out on how many times he had died.”

“As far as I’m aware, Merle hasn’t died!” Barry put in and Taako turned to him angrily, shushing him rudely, before turning back to Kravitz.

“Krav, how do you not remember this?”

“I…” Kravitz said, looking between Barry and the other person. “You’re very sick right now, Taako, I think we should just… rest for now?”

“Rest?” Taako asked incredulously. “You know elves don’t sleep, Krav.”

“Elves?” all three of them asked together and Taako stared.

“Yes?” he said slowly as if that would help them understand. “Elves? You know… like the  _ race _ ? Like you all are obviously human and I’m a-” he lifted his hand to show off his ear. “Elf- wait, holy shit, where are my ears?”

“Taako, hey, hey, breath-” he heard Kravitz start saying. Taako felt his heartbeat pick up wildly, bringing his hand back down to clutch at his shirt, over his heart. He could vaguely tell that Kravitz and Barry and whoever the fuck that other person was were trying to calm him down, but it really wasn’t working. He pressed himself against the couch, suddenly feeling very small against what was happening. He could hear them calling out for him but all he could hear was the honk of a horn, the screech of tires, the shattering of glass-

When Taako woke up from passing out, he was in a large bed. It was warm and the fan whirled above his head steadily. He shook his head, trying to clear thoughts that weren’t even there. When he remembered why exactly he was here, he sat up straighter, reaching towards where his ears would be. What the fuck was going on?

Taako got out of bed, sort of wobbly on his feet. He shuffled around the room, just looking at things to calm himself down. He assumed this was Kravitz’s bedroom- he had assumed that “home” meant Kravitz’s home, at the very least. He felt almost giddy being in here. It wasn’t hard to get into that man’s bedroom, was it? Taako chuckled at his own joke.

But… what if this was his house, too? Kravitz had said  _ home _ as if it belonged to the both of them. He felt warm all over at that thought, too. As he looked around more, the more he assumed that this was, in fact, their shared room. He couldn’t remember ever sleeping in the same room as Kravitz, let alone living in one together. Still, he spotted things that were supposed to be in his room back at the moonbase and unless Kravitz had stolen them, they had been moved in here at some time.

Taako dug through the bedside table on “his side” of the bed. What he assumed was his side, anyway, because it was the side he had been placed on. And the table had little trinkets Taako had had back at the base, strewn lazily across the surface. There wasn’t much that piqued his interest and he was about the close the drawer when his hand hit a thick envelope in the back. It was half-open like someone had been peaking in it a lot. Taako opened it all the way and removed the insides.

A small, velvety box now sat in his palm, along with a folded up paper clutched in his other. Taako set the now empty envelope and the box down on the bedside table and unfolded the paper, scanning through it.

_ Dearest Kravitz, blah blah blah… _

_ Feels like such a long time ago I met you, blah blah blah... _

_ I hope you don’t think it selfish of me to say that I want you to myself, blah blah blah... _

_ I know I’m not one for such sappiness but I really think, blah blah blah… _

_ So I’m just gonna come out (ha) and ask you, blah blah-  _

Wait.

_ I would be so, so honored if you were willing to accept this proposal. I think you’re getting what I’m hinting at now, love. _

_ Kravitz McAllister, would you do yourself a favor and finally marry me? _

Holy  ** _shit_ ** .

Taako stared at the letter and then brought it close to his chest as if it might fly out of his hands at any moment. He didn’t remember  _ writing  _ that but gods, he would be lying he said it wasn’t his handwriting. He’d be lying if he said that he couldn’t hear his own voice reading this out loud, nervous but trying to pass as confident. Maybe after a perfect date. Maybe on the beach, far, far away from the worries of the world. He could just  _ imagine _ Kravitz’s face. Even if he had only gone on one date with him so far, he knew that Kravitz was certainly special.

But… had they only gone on one date? There was a part of his mind, trying to convince him that he hadn’t met Kravitz that long ago. That they had only gone on one date so far and he didn’t even know if that was “official” because Kravitz had been there to talk business and Taako had tried to make it into something more.

But the other part of him was so, so  _ confused _ . He  _ knew _ he wasn’t the Taako that had written this note. That had bought the ring- god the  _ ring _ . Taako reached over and picked up the box, opening it quietly. He recognized the gem in the center immediately. It was a sapphire, strapped into a simple silver ring. His heart clenched and he shut the box, slipping both it and the letter back into the envelope. He placed it carefully back into the drawer and looked around a bit more, before deciding that he’d go back to the others.

When he opened the door, he saw he was in the hallway connected to the living room. There had been talking but when the door squeaked, it stopped quickly. Taako made his way to the living room, hands shoved deep into his pockets. There were more people here than before, he noticed, but at least he knew all of them.

Merle, Magnus, Lucretia, Davenport. As well as Barry and Kravitz from before. That Taako-clone was there too and he grimaced a bit, stopping at the entrance to the living room. It was now completely obvious that he was not thinking correctly. Not only was he missing his ears, but Merle and Davenport looked like  _ humans _ . Admittedly short humans, but humans nonetheless.

“Sup,” Taako said.

“Hey, bud,” Merle said, standing up and waddling forward. “You okay?”

“Peachy,” Taako said, shuffling forward. “Starving, but peachy.”

“I can make someth-” the Taako-clone offered, but Taako waved them off.

“I’m good to cook,” he told the group. “As long as someone can direct me to where the kitchen is.”

“I can,” Magnus said, standing up. “I stay over enough to know where it is.”

“Cool,” Taako said. “Lead the way, big guy.”

Magnus led him through a door on the other side of the room, which went into the dining room. Another room over was the kitchen. Taako nodded, looking around.

“Should I leave now or…?” Magnus asked and Taako shrugged, opening up one of the cabinets to peer in.

“You can stay,” he said off-handedly. “I’ll need someone to tell me where stuff is, anyway.”

“Alright,” Magnus said, poking his head through the kitchen door to shout back to the others. “YO, I’M STAYING WITH TAAKO.”

“COOL,” said the voice of the Taako-clone, and with that, Magnus shut the door. He sat down at one of the island stools as Taako peaked into another cabinet. He grabbed a pan and waved it at Magnus.

“Do you know if we’ve got any Mac and Cheese stuff?” he asked. “Kraft, preferably, because I honestly don’t wanna cook right now, I just wanted to have an excuse not to sit awkwardly with the rest of you all.”

“If you’ve got any, it would be in the pantry,” Magnus said, pointing to a half-open door. “Third shelf on the right.”

Taako nodded again, fetching the box from the pantry and filling the pot with water. He turned the stove on and then sat next to Magnus. They’d have to wait for it to boil.

“So,” Taako said, just as Magnus was reaching to get his phone out. “Who’s that dude who looks like me?”

“It’s uh- her name is Lup,” Magnus said.

“Lup,” Taako repeated as if testing how the name sounded. “I think I’ve heard that name before.”

“Oh?” Magnus asked, actually sounding intrigued. 

“Yeah,” Taako said, thinking hard for a moment before saying, “oh! I know! My Umbrastaff burnt it into the wall in the cafeteria, duh. How could I forget that?”

“I-” Magnus said, hesitant. “I don’t think you ever told me that story before.”

“Oh yeah, I don’t think I ever told you,” Taako said. “I thought Angus had, honestly. We met up in the cafeteria for his magic lessons, you know? And he made these macarons which tasted like  _ crap _ but it didn’t matter because my staff just kinda… acted on its own? Like, it moved on its own and burned the letters L, U, P into the wall. Kinda weird, I guess, that Lup not only has the same letters in her name but also looks like me. Isn’t that odd?”

“Super odd,” Magnus agreed and if he didn’t understand what Taako was talking about, he showed no signs of it.

“Yeah,” Taako said and they lapsed back into silence. They both were on their phones, Magnus doing who knows what, Taako just reading through the messages he couldn’t remember sending. He was scrolling through his and Kravitz’s texts, smiling slightly.

**Fav Boy: I’m gonna have to stay late for work. Don’t force yourself to stay up for me**

**Taako: U know ‘m gonna**

**Fav Boy: I know, but if your tired go to sleep.**

**Fav Boy: I love you, okay? Be home as soon as I can.**

**Taako: lovs u too**

The more Taako looked, the more he noticed how each and every interaction they had ended with some form of saying “I love you”. Taako felt like he was invading someone’s privacy, despite knowing that he had sent these messages, even if he didn’t remember. Still, it was good to see such happiness and contentment between the two of them.

“Magnus,” Taako said suddenly, setting his phone down on the counter. “Do you think Kravitz likes me?”

The question felt stupid coming out of his mouth and even Magnus realized that, because he snorted.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure he does, dude,” Magnus confirmed, smiling over at him. His smile dropped when he saw Taako’s serious face. “I mean it, T, I’m positive he likes you.”

“Do you think…” Taako started and then stopped. “Nevermind, it’s stupid.”   
  


“No, no!” Magnus said eagerly. “I’m sure it’s not.”

“Okay,” Taako sighed. “Do you think that Kravitz would like… marry me? If I asked?”

Magnus’s face changed at once. From looking concerned to looking surprised, to looking absolutely gleeful. 

“Taako!” He said, happiness radiating from his voice. “Are you planning-”

“Don’t make this weird, Mags,” Taako said quickly. “And don’t you dare tell anyone. I know you have a big mouth but keep it shut for this one thing,  _ please _ .”

“Hey,” Magnus said defensively. “You wound me, Taako!”

“Answer the question, dork,” Taako said. “Do you think he’d say yes?”

“Of course he would!” Magnus said. “I mean like- I’m pretty sure-  _ pretty darn sure _ \- that he would. I’m not him so I can’t say for sure but that man is  _ love-struck _ for you, T.”

“Really?” Taako asked, grinning despite himself.

“Hell yeah dude!” Magnus grinned, too. “Also I think your water is boiling.” 

Taako got up and found out that yes, the water was boiling. He dumped the noodles into the pot, nose scrunching up.

“I wish I had the energy to make more than this,” he confessed. “Everyone’s so upset. A homemade meal would probably lift spirits but, gods, I’m exhausted.”

“That’s understandable,” Magnus said. “You’ve been through a  _ lot _ the past few days.”

“Yeah,” Taako said. “I guess I have.”

The mac and cheese was done and Taako presented it like it was the highest class dish they would ever eat, which made them all laugh. All the laughter made his heart swell as he sat down next to Kravitz at the dining table. Now, this he could get used too.

Too bad fate had other plans.

Everyone had gone home soon after eating, except for Lup and Barry, who only lived a few doors down. They sat up late, watching The Great British Bake Off, and it almost felt natural to be here with them. Taako found himself snuggling closer into Kravitz’s side by the hour, almost going unnoticed beside the fact that Kravitz was rubbing his back. Lup and Barry eventually bid goodbye and went home, leaving Kravitz and Taako resting on the couch. They went to bed after finishing one more episode. It felt  _ good _ to crawl under the sheets with Kravitz and Taako thought he could almost live like this- like he could ignore the sense of  _ wrong wrong wrong _ his mind was screaming and just marry Kravitz right then and there.

They fell asleep facing each other, foreheads almost touching. Taako felt weird having to go to sleep instead of meditating but didn’t mention it. It felt just as weird coming out of sleep as it did going into it. He was groggy and tired and achy but noticed that the sun wasn’t even out yet, the sky the darkest blue he had ever seen it.

He got out of bed, shuffling towards where Kravitz had told him the bathroom was yesterday. Said Kravitz stirred slightly when he went by, blinking at him blearily.

“Taako?” he asked softly. “Where…?”

“Bathroom,” Taako answered, just as soft. “Be right back, promise.”

Problem was, he wouldn’t be. Taako went into the bathroom and did his stuff, washing his hands and everything. But he paused, looking at himself in the mirror for a few moments. Wow, Lup and him really did look  _ similar _ . They hadn’t told him what relation Lup and him had- probably because he didn’t ask. He should do that when he gets back to b-

Back to…

Back to where?

Taako clutched his head, cursing, stumbling and running into the wall. He pressed himself against it, sinking down onto the floor, memories flashing before his eyes. The pain, god the pain was so  _ bad _ \- it was like he was being crushed under something. The wheel was so big and he hated spinning it, he hated not knowing where it was going to land, he hated  _ this stupid game _ . All the while, black smoke surrounded him.

And then suddenly, stage lights.

The catwalk.

The  _ voices _ , taunting and teasing.

_ “Magnus, you landed on skull in the last round, didn’t you?” _

_ “Yes.” _

_ “...Bad luck.” _

Taako was brought back into reality with a loud gasp as if he had forgotten to breathe. He took a few shuddering breaths and looked around desperately. Where was he? What was happening? Was this another one of those fucking  _ games _ those bitches were playing on him? Taako stood up quickly, a little unsteady on his feet, looking around for his wand- where the  _ hell _ was his wand?!

“Stop it!” Taako snapped loudly up into the ceiling as if that’d make Edward and Lydia hear him. There was no response. “Come out, you fucking cowards! I’m gonna blast your fucking asses off!”

Nothing.

Well, nothing except the jiggle of the door handle. Taako turned swiftly, ready to fight even without his wand. He was about to  _ throw down _ when he finally saw the person standing in the doorframe.

It was Kravitz, concerned and dressed in his stupid old fashion pajamas that made Taako laugh. Still, he didn’t lower his stance. He shifted back away from the door, hands still up in defense.

“That’s  _ low _ ,” he snapped and Kravitz looked confused, but Taako  _ knew _ it wasn’t really him, so he shouldn’t feel bad.

“Wha- what’s low?” And god, it sounded so much like Kravitz that Taako almost believed it.

“ _ This _ ,” Taako snarled. “You’re using my fucking  _ boyfriend _ against me and pretending that it’s okay. That’s fucked up.”

“I’m- I  _ am _ your boyfriend, though!” Kravitz said, and the slight panic in his voice made Taako want to wrap him in a hug. “Did you forget again- oh my god, Taako, are you okay?”

“Forget?” Taako asked, near hysterical. “Forget  _ what _ ? I’m not the one who landed on brain, remember? That was Magnus.”

“What are you  _ talking _ about?” Fake-Kravitz demanded.

“Actually, where  _ is _ Magnus? And Merle?” Taako questioned harshly, anger building up. “What the fuck did you do with them? What did you do with  _ Magnus _ ? I know he landed on skull, you better not have fucking hurt him-”   
  


“Taako,  _ what _ ?” Fake-Kravitz asked.

“Let me see them,” Taako ordered. “Let me see them or I’ll burn this whole place down-”

“I’ll call them!” Fake-Kravitz said, obviously panicked. “I’m just gonna go get my phone, okay? You can follow me if you want.”

And Taako did. Kravitz led him out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom. Taako tensed when he saw Kravitz pick something up, but it just seemed to be a calling device so he wasn’t too worried. Kravitz opened up the device and a ringing started, going on for a while before-

“Hello?” It was Magnus, sounding groggy and exhausted. “Hello? He repeated.

“Hi, Mags,” Kravitz said into the device, and Taako noticed how hard he was trying to keep his voice even. “Taako seems to have uh- uh, reset? Again? And he wanted to call you.”

“Oh, sure, put me on speaker,” Magnus said.

“You’re already on it,” Kravitz said and Magnus chuckled before speaking again.

“Hey, T, how’s it hanging?”

“Are you okay?” Taako said at once, coming closer to the device and Kravitz. “Where are you?”

“I’m at home, T,” Magnus said comfortingly. “I’m good, just sleepy.”

“Home?” Taako asked. “And are you sure you're okay, you landed on skull and they were gonna- gonna… fuck, I don’t know what they were gonna do but I was so  _ scared _ , Maggie-”

“Hey, hey,” Magnus said. “I’m good, I swear, I’m good. Do you want me to come over?”

“Please,” Taako asked, not caring that his voice cracked. “Please, please come over.”

“I’ll be there in a few, I promise. See ya-”

“ _ No! _ ” Taako almost yelled. He took a deep breath and steadied himself. “Please don’t… don’t hang up.”

“Alright,” Mangus said like that request was the simplest thing in the world. “I’ll be on the phone until I’m in the room with ya, I promise.”

Kravitz- the  _ real _ Kravitz, Taako was starting to realize, handed him the device, the  _ phone _ . Taako took it, listening to Magnus get out of bed and slip his shoes on. As Magnus walked towards his front door, idly having a one-sided conversation with him about wood carving, he heard Kravitz calling Merle in the background. Magnus started up his car, telling Taako he had to place his phone on the passenger seat, that his voice might sound a little far away, but he was still here. Kravitz ended the phone call with Merle as Magnus described a wooden duck he was planning to carve for Lucretia’s birthday.

“I’m gonna make it look like her!” Magnus said as if that was the best thing he’d ever thought of. “Painted and everything!”

By the time Merle was surely on his way and Magnus was pulling into the driveway, Taako had calmed down quite a bit. He remembered where he was, though not really well. This was… Kravitz’s house? He was pretty sure, anyway. It wasn’t that odd for Kravitz to sleepover in his room, so why would it be odd for Taako to go to wherever the fuck Kravitz lived and sleep there? Kravitz helped him down the hallways because his legs were shaking too much to stand on his own. They opened the front door and Magnus stood there, twiddling his thumbs. He grinned and went to say something when he saw Taako, but Taako tore from Kravitz’s grasp and wrapped his arms around Magnus tightly.

“Gods,” Taako breathed. “I thought they were gonna kill you.”

“I’m tougher than that, T!” Magnus said confidently. His voice dropped to a softer, more comforting tone, as he continued, though. “Do you wanna sit and talk about it?”

“I  _ want _ Merle to hurry up and get his ass here so we can have a cuddle pile.”

Magnus and Kravitz helped him back to the couch as they waited for Merle. He rested his head in Kravitz’s lap, the feeling of Kravitz’s fingers combing through his hair far too good to pass up. His legs rested on Magnus, who didn’t seem to mind at all. He patted a pattern onto Taako’s left leg, making him squirm.

When Merle finally got there, Magnus was the one to go let him in. Though Taako did sit up and listen as his footsteps faded slightly and the door swung open. He was back a moment later, Merle at his side. Now they sat with Taako’s head in Kravitz’s lap, his feet in Magnus’s lap, and Merle unhelpfully disposed on the floor after he had tried to sit directly on Taako’s lap. This wasn’t a lap train. Not all laps were in use.

They just sort of sat like that for a while; Merle humming something nonsensical from the floor, Kravitz casting his fingers through Taako’s hair, Magnus still tapping that resilient pattern onto Taako’s leg. After a while, Taako spoke.

“I don’t think she meant for us to get hurt that much,” Taako said and the three others jolted out of their lazy haze, now listening attentively.

“She?” Kravitz questioned.

“Lucretia. The Director. Whatever you wanna call her. Pain in the ass, I’d say,” Taako laughed slightly, but it was heartless. “I know she means good but sometimes I just wished like… someone else had to do these missions, you know?”

He turned his head, looking at Merle first, then Magnus.

“We’re not some invincible superheroes,” he went on. “We can  _ die _ . I don’t know if she realizes that when she sends us on these kinda things. I mean, sure, I’m stronger than the average wizard I guess but I almost fuckin’  _ died _ when that thing fell on me. Just… poof! There goes Taako, off to the astral plane to live with Kravitz, I guess.”

He looked up at Kravitz now and Kravitz looked down on him quizzically.

“Is that where we are?” he asked, almost timidly. “The astral plane, I mean.”

“N- no,” Kravitz said, not really understanding what the astral plane was but knowing that they were in their house and not anywhere else.

“Cool,” Taako said. “‘Cause I sorta thought like… what if this was the astral plane? Just living with you and existing after death, I guess.” He sat up suddenly, swinging his legs off of Magnus and onto the floor, almost hitting Merle in the process. He sat, shoulders hunched, eyes trained on nothing.

“Do you ever miss Julia?” Taako said suddenly and even though he didn’t look up, it was obvious he was addressing Magnus.

“I- shit, yeah, I do, Taako. All the time,” Magnus answered, gripping the edges of the couch with his hands. “Uh, why’d you ask?”

“I don’t know,” Taako said. “I just… After the  _ last _ mission, we went on- you know, to retrieve the chalice?- I’ve just been thinking about the past a lot. About like… what happened in  _ my  _ past. Do you guys ever think about stuff like that?”

“All the time,” Merle said at the same time Magnus said,

“Of course.”

“I don’t think… I don’t think I ever told you all what June- what the chalice, I guess- showed me.” He said, almost thoughtfully. None of knew what he was talking about, but they all nodded along. “Do you want to know?” Taako asked, almost so soft that no one heard.

“Only if you want to share,” Merle said, patting his leg.

“I think I should share,” Taako said. “Even if I don’t want to. I feel like I owe it to you guys.”

“You owe us nothing,” Magnus said, almost heatedly, like he hated the idea of anyone owing anyone else a personal thing.

“I know but- ugh. Just let me share before I change my mind.” He took a deep breath, hand finding Kravitz’s and intertwining with it.

“I was… younger… when I had a cooking show,” Taako said and they  _ immediately  _ knew what he was referring to. In his right mind, Taako would never, ever mention the cooking show. “I guess age makes you wiser because if this happened to me now, I would have fucked right out of there.

But… I didn’t. I was… stupid, really, not to. I had this… stagehand, I guess. His name was Sazed. He was- we were really close. Like, really close. I… he was good when he started out. We- I- he wasn’t the typical stagehand, I guess. You usually don’t end up kissing your stagehand after a show.” Taako broke off, laughing slightly and they watched in horror and amazement. He was so  _ raw _ right now, so honest. It was something Kravitz rarely saw and something the other two maybe saw once in a lifetime. 

“Anyway, yeah, I had this cooking show. “Sizzle It Up With Taako” it was called. It was just me and Sazed traveling around to different places. I’d- I’d use magic to spice up the show and the audience fuckin’ loved it. Ate that stuff up. We were growing in popularity and Sazed was suddenly asking me if he could like… be a part of the show? 

And I was like, “sure, dude, you can measure out ingredients and stuff!” but he didn’t stay happy with that very long.

He turned… colder. Bright and loving in the public eye, of course, but the moment the show was over? It was “I can’t believe you fucked up this, Taako” or “Oh my god, did you see their faces when they tasted your food? They  _ hated _ it!” I tried not to believe him. I really did try. But he was getting meaner with his… romance, too, I guess. 

One day, he suggested we  _ co-host _ the show. I said no, of course! It was Sizzle It Up With Taako, after all, not “With Taako and Sazed”. I told him it was a merch thing and he was… dejected. Tried kissing me later that night and I r- rejected him then, too, which I guess was the pushing point.”

Taako sighed, putting his head in his hands, his voice wobbly.

“Do you know what it’s like…?” He asked quietly. “To think for years- for  _ years _ \- that you were solely to blame for killing forty people? I- I thought I had transmuted one of the ingredients wrong and I  _ hated _ myself for it. I didn’t cook for  _ years _ because of it.”

There was the difference, they all realized at once. There was the difference in the story. Without the… magic involved, it had been pretty easy to track what Sazed had done to the food. He had been thrown in jail before they had even identified all the bodies. But what Taako was remembering…? This horrible, horrible world that now existed in his head? He had gone so long thinking that  _ he  _ was to blame.

“We ran,” Taako went on. “We ran and didn’t look back for  _ two days _ . And then he… he  _ left _ . Sazed just  _ left _ . Said he couldn’t associate with someone who had killed so many people. He was gone and I was alone and I fucking  _ hated it _ .

Then,” Taako laughed bitterly. “Then, when the chalice showed us all the worst things that happened in our lives? When it showed me Sazed putting  _ arsenic _ into the food behind my back- gods, I was livid. But I- I didn’t let it show. I couldn’t, we still had a mission to do. I played it off like- like a joke. Remember what I said, g- guys? Remember? “It was a very chill vision for me”, I’m pretty sure. R- remember?”

Taako felt tears drip down his face and he chuckled emptily.

“I was so torn up about that. I was so torn up because it wasn’t even something I had done, it wasn’t even that  _ bad _ . I didn’t lose anyone but myself. I still had  _ both _ my arms, unlike you, Merle. I remember y- you, Magnus, talking to me in the middle of the night, still on the edge about  _ why _ you didn’t take the chalice’s offer. You could have had you family back. Your wife, your father-in-law, your  _ home _ .

I…” Taako sighed. “I never had any of that.”

There was a silence as Taako cried into his hands. He felt Merle press up against his leg, holding it tight. He felt Magnus’s arm across his back, in a half hug. He felt Kravtiz’s head leaning on his shoulder, rubbing his knuckles in their still intertwined hands. They let Taako just sob, rubbing him comfortingly the whole way through. As he calmed down, Kravitz spoke up.

“You… you do now.”

And gods, he was crying again. He turned, launching himself into Kravitz’s arms, holding him as tightly as he could with all the broken but healing bones he had. Kravitz pressed a kiss to his forehead, whispering nothings into his ear. They all stayed like that for a while- Kravitz and Taako in close embrace, Merle and Magnus near enough by that Taako felt comforted by them, too. When all his tears had dried up, he laid his head flat against Kravitz’s chest, listening to his heartbeat.

Taako couldn’t recall ever hearing Kravitz’s heartbeat.

\--

In the morning, long after they had had their conversation about Taako’s memories, Taako woke up to the sound of the TV on full blast. Merle was sitting on the floor still, flipping through the channels. Taako stayed still for a while, trying to decide if he wanted to go back to sleep or not. When Merle got to and stayed on the Discovery channel, watching a very uninteresting documentary on  _ plants _ , Taako got up at once. Well, he had to unwrap Magnus’s arms from around his waist, but he got up.

“Change the channel, old man,” Taako demanded, almost falling off the couch as he struggled to get out from Magnus’s grasp.

“Ugh, whyyyy,” Merle whined. “It’s justa nature documentary!”

“I’m not gonna have you thirsting over plants in front of us,” Taako said. As if those words had been magic, Magnus shot up at once and yelped,

“Change the channel!”

“See,” Taako said smugly. “You’re outvoted.”

“Fine,” Merle grumbled, flipping through the channels again. He was in the kitchen by the time that Merle landed on a channel that made Magnus groan loudly and say,

“Not that one, either!”

Kravitz was in the kitchen, as Taako figured he’d be. He had a box of instant oatmeal out, two bowls already steaming and ready. As Taako entered, Kravitz turned.

“Good morning,” he greeted kindly. “Sleep alright?”

“Yeah,” Taako said, coming closer. “Magnus was hugging me when I woke up.”

“I saw,” Kravitz said with a smile. “At least Merle wasn’t attached to your leg like a koala like he was to mine.”

Taako snorted, wrapping his hands around Kravitz’s waist and peppering a few kisses on his shoulder. Kravitz flushed.

“T- Taako,” he laughed. “I’m trying to make you breakfast.”

“And I’m trying to woo you,” Taako responded. “Is it working?”

“It always works,” Kravitz responded, chuckling. “Seriously though, love, I don’t want you to get burnt.”

Taako removed his hands from Kravitz, stepping back with a pout. Kravitz looked over his shoulder at him, smiling widely.

“Aw, come on, don’t do that!”

“Then give me attentioooon,” Taako begged.

“In a sec,” Kravitz promised, finishing up the oatmeal at last. “Let me go give these to Merle and Magnus before they start whining about starving.”

“Mh,” Taako said, smiling nonetheless. Kravitz opened up the door to the living room and was greeted with a chorus of cheers. Well, the  _ breakfast _ was greeted with a chorus of cheers, but knowing Kravitz, he was probably thanking them for the gratitude now. Taako shuffled over to the counter, grabbing the two other bowls of oatmeal, setting them down in front of the island stools. He went to sit but-

God, did his head always hurt this bad?

The pain that rocketed through him made his drop both bowls of oatmeal. They fell to the ground with a clatter, spilling oatmeal everywhere. Taako gripped his head, tears falling from his eyes quickly, without him even noticing it was happening. It was so much  _ information _ happening all at once-

His childhood came rushing back but this time it was different. This time there was another figure with him all that way.  _ Lup _ , he realized.  _ How could he have forgotten  _ ** _Lup_ ** ?

The hundred years came next, all coming back at the same time, knocking him off his feet and crashing into the ground. So, so much information.

And the  _ static _ . It was there but now he could sort through it, shifting it away until he discovered the very core.

** _He was going to _ ** **kill ** ** _Lucretia._ **

He was standing up just as the door opened and people peaked in. People he knew, Taako realized. Kravitz, in the front, looking very, very concerned and anxious. Magnus and Merle behind him, looking at Taako with different expressions. Merle’s gaze was one of question- like he was trying to figure out Taako with each passing second. Magnus’s gaze was more like Kravitz’s, except he appeared to be ready to  _ act _ at any second.

“Where is she?” Taako snarled, looking around at the room he was in. It was… a kitchen? What the fuck?

“Who?” Kravitz asked.

“Fuckin’- you know! Lucretia! Fuck, Krav, where  _ is _ she?”

“I um- probably at work?” Kravitz said. “Taako, I need you to sit down and take a deep breath.”

“No!” Taako nearly yelled. “I’m gonna- fuck- fuck, Krav- I’m gonna  _ kill  _ her if she thinks she can just get away with this!”

“Please sit down,” Kravitz said, stepping forward cautiously. 

_ “I’m not gonna sit down _ !” Taako roared. “If she thinks she can just- just change up my  _ life _ like that, she’s fucking wrong!” He looked over at Merle and sprinted forward towards him. Merle lurched back away and he was suddenly caught in Magnus’s arms. “ _ Merle _ !” he shouted. “Merle, you  _ saw _ what I saw- you saw what she  _ took _ from us- Fuck, Mags, let me go!”

“Not until you calm down,” Magnus said and Taako had never heard his voice so  _ firm _ before. Still, he persisted, peaking over Magnus’s broad shoulder to look at Merle.

“YOU SAW IT!” he screamed. “YOU SAW WHAT SHE DID TO US- TO  _ ME _ -”

“ _ Breath _ , Taako!” Merle said, stepping forward. “Tell us what’s happening.”

“What’s happening?” he said hysterically. “What’s  _ happening _ Merle, is that Lucretia fucked up  _ big time _ and I’m gonna go kick her ass!”

“What did she do?” Merle asked calmly, which angered Taako to no end.

“What did she  _ do _ ? She took  _ everything  _ from me, Merle! She took my heart, my  _ sister _ , away from me and pretended like it was fine every fucking time I saw her just because  _ I couldn’t remember! _ ”

With that finally out, Taako sagged in Magnus’s arms, sobbing loudly.

“S- she took  _ Lup _ from me, Merle,” he said desperately. “ _ Lup _ ! My  _ heart _ ! My  _ sister _ ! The only fucking reason I hadn’t given up when our aunt died- the only reason I learned magic- the only reason I’m  _ alive _ still is  _ her _ and Lucretia  _ took her _ from m- me…”

He clung to Magnus tightly, burying his face in Magnus’s neck, mumbling,

“What am I gonna do without  _ Lup _ …”

No one knew what to say to that. What to say to  _ anything _ Taako had just told them. How do you comfort a friend who bares a pain you have no clue about? How are you supposed to look them in the eye and say “it’s alright” when things were  _ not _ alright? How were you supposed to bring hope to a person who’s very hope had been seemingly lost in an accident that shouldn’t have happened? How to comfort a friend who is experiencing a thing so far out of your realm of reality that you think “fantasy” when they describe it to you?

Because that’s all it  _ was, _ right? Fantasy?

But the pains of another- however far stretched they may seem- are anything but fantasy.

“I think we should have… a family meeting,” Merle said after a few full moments of silence. “Soon. Soon as in I’m gonna start calling people and as soon as everyone is here, we’re starting.”

“Merle, are you sure that’s-”

“I don’t care,” Merle said. “It’s happening.”

Taako was set down uselessly in a chair in the dining room. His stomach rumbled and he vaguely remembered the oatmeal he had seen on the floor, though he didn’t recall how it got there. He was so  _ tired _ now, despite having just woken up. He tried resting his head on the table, but neither his arm nor his ribs liked that very much, so he just sat up, eyes shut exhaustedly. He heard the others move around him, heard the front door open and close a few times, heard talking in the living room but couldn’t make out any of the words.

Slowly, people piled into the room. Someone- Kravitz, he figured, at how cold the hand was- prodded him and his eyes fluttered open. Davenport sat at the head of the table, with Merle on his right and Barry on his left. Magnus sat in between Kravitz and Barry. Kravitz was next to Taako, who sat at the other end of the table tiredly.

“Hey,” he croaked.

“Hello,” Davenport said. “Merle explained to us what happened.”

Taako groaned, running a hand through his already messy hair. He let out a deep breath and shrugged as a response.

“Lucretia did… something bad, you think?”

“I don’t think,” Taako snapped at once. “I know.”

“Of course, my apologies,” Davenport said. “But… what did she do?”

“She- ugh, was I really the only one who saw it?”

“I believe so, yes,” Davenport said. “Please enlighten us. Let us in on what’s going on.”

“Fine!” Taako huffed. “Fine, you wanna know, I’ll let you know! We had landed on the last plane, right? Cycle ninety-nine, here we go. We found the light so fucking quickly it was amazing. And we split it up, put it throughout the world, and then gathered back up on the Starblaster. You following?”

Davenport opened his mouth to say something but Magnus cut in.

“Yeah, we’re following.”

“Good,” Taako said, “‘cause I’m not gonna repeat this.

The items we made with the light… destroyed the world. I- I think Lup took it particularly hard and one day, after the tally mark for the deaths the Gauntlet had caused rose way too high for her to handle and she just- god, she was just  _ gone _ . Me and Barry looked for her everywhere-” Taako turned to face Barry, almost desperately. “You remember Barry? How we spent all those months looking for her but she wasn’t  _ anywhere _ and-

And then  _ Lucretia _ thought she could fix things by herself. S- she erased all of our memories and just…  _ left us _ out in the world, not even acknowledging that we could help her! I was panicking so much when our memories started going- I- I-”

Taako sat back in his chair, squeezing his eyes shut, trying not to let the tears fall. 

“Barry asked me to kill him,” he whispered. “He said if he was a lich he would remember and I- I didn’t even know who he  _ was _ anymore but I killed him. I  _ killed him _ .” He opened his eyes, laughing slightly. “How fucked up is that, huh?

And then we fast forward twelve years. We regain our memories and I d- discover that I had found Lup’s  _ corpse _ while out adventuring one time-”

“Stop,” someone commanded and Taako’s voice died in his throat. He looked up to see who had spoken and saw Barry standing up, arms shaking as he steadied himself on the table. “I- I can’t- What the  _ fuck _ is happening. What the fuck. Her  _ corpse _ ? Lup’s  _ corpse _ ? My  _ wife's corpse _ ? What the fuck, Taako!”

“I’m just telling it as it is,” Taako shot back. “You wanted to know what happened and I’m here, telling you the truth!”

“But-” Barry said, and Taako could hear the strain in his voice. “But- fuck, oh my god, I can’t-”

Barry left the room, slamming the door behind him.

Taako curled his hands up into fists, trying not to shout something rude to the closed door.

“That’s… it,” he said after the strained silence. “That’s what happened.”

Davenport nodded thoughtfully and then asked,

“What would you do if you saw Lucretia?”

“I…” Taako struggled to get his words out correctly. “I- fuck, I don’t know. I said I was gonna kill her earlier but… I don’t really want to. I just… I want her to  _ realize _ that I’m not gonna forgive her at the tip of a hat. That just because I know what happened now, that doesn’t mean she’s off the hook. I’m gonna still be mad at her. Fuck, she took so much from me, I have the right to be mad. But… If you’re asking if I’d hurt her, then no. Probably not.”

Merle and Davenport looked at each other, then at Magnus. Taako found Kravitz’s hand under the table, and they held hands. It calmed him down a bit.

“I’m… gonna go get Lucretia,” Davenport said, standing up. “Do I have your promise you won’t do anything?”

“Yes,” Taako said sullenly. Davenport nodded and exited through the door Barry had stormed out of. He heard talking on the other side, low and worried. Taako gripped Kravitz’s hand tighter as the door opened and Davenport leaned back in.

“Uh, Merle, Magnus would you mind coming out here?”

They shared a confused look but left, leaving Kravitz and Taako alone. Kravitz brought their hands up above the table, placing a kiss on Taako’s hand.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly and Taako furrowed his brows.

“For what?” he asked. “You’re not the one upsetting everyone, my dude.”

“They’re not upset,” Kravitz said softly. “They’re just really worried about you, dear. We’ve… never seen you like this. You have to understand why we’re worried.”

“I understand,” Taako said, maneuvering his chair closer to Kravitz’s so he could lean against his shoulder. “I do. I just… Look, I know my head’s messed up, but what I’m saying is  _ real _ . It… it  _ happened _ , Krav, it had to have happened.”

Kravitz didn’t say anything to that and soon enough, the door opened again, and Merle came in.

“Change of plans,” Merle said. “Lucretia is coming in, but so is Barry, and so is-”

He was cut off as the door opened. Davenport and Magnus entered first, flanked by Lucretia, and then by Barry, and then by-

Taako could have sworn his heart stopped when she entered. Not in a good way, either. She looked  _ exactly _ as he remembered her- hair long and pushed to one side, a big red jacket that was far too long (it probably belonged to Barry). She had his face, his freckles, his  _ eyes _ . And Taako  _ hated _ the look of anxiety on her face when their eyes met. It probably didn’t help that when they did look at each other, Taako’s hand immediately unclasped from Kravitz’s, going to grip his shirt, right over his heart.

It  _ burned. _ Everything  _ burned _ . He was surrounded quickly as he collapsed, slumping out his seat and onto the floor. He saw Kravitz leaning over him and with a simple squint of his eyes, it was no longer Kravitz anymore.  _ His vision was fading in and out as he was picked from the rubble by a fireman, placed swiftly into an ambulance to be transported to the nearest hospital. _

_ I’m sorry, his head repeated over and over. Kravitz, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to- _

\--

When Taako woke up again, he knew where he was. Seated comfortably on his side of the bed in his and Kravitz’s room, it took him a second to remember what exactly had happened. All the memories came rushing back and made him sort of dizzy. Storming out, getting into the crash, all the utter  _ shit _ that he had put everyone through afterward. Taako felt guilty at once and struggled to get out of bed, pushing aside the thick, warm blankets and mutely traveling to the door. He paused before opening it, hearing quiet talking coming from down the hall, in the living room. He swallowed hard and pushed open the door. 

Whoever was in the living room must have heard the door because the talking stopped. He made his way down the hallway, ribs aching bad, arm throbbing, and stopped just before the entrance of the living room, just before they could see him.

“Taako?” someone called out gently. “You there?”

He peeked out into the living room, watching six heads swiveling towards him at once. It must not have been too long after his collapse if they were all still here. Kravitz had been the one to speak, halfway out of his seat to come greet Taako. Taako got to him first though, running into his arms with a bound. Kravitz almost toppled backward, yelping, as he caught Taako in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” Taako said once Kravitz was steady on his feet again. “I’m sorry, Krav, I shouldn’t have argued, it was so stupid, I’m so stupid-”

“We’re both stupid,” Kravitz chuckled wetly, his voice cracking, and Taako pulled back for a moment, only to dive back to kiss Kravitz square on the lips. He could feel the flush on Kravitz’s face, but he kissed back just as eagerly as if he had been wanting to do this for days. Who could blame him, Taako had wanted to do it, too.

Someone coughed from behind them and Kravitz finally pulled back, both of them turning around. It was Lup.

Lup, holy shit,  _ Lup _ !

Taako launched himself from Kravitz’s arms directly into Lup’s, pulling her in for as tight of a hug as he could manage. She returned it, just as fierce.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know you,” Taako said, laughing slightly at the mere idea of  _ him _ not knowing  _ Lup _ , as if the whole thing hadn’t just happened. “I’m sorry I forgot. I’m sorry I made you cry, Lup, oh my god, I’m so-”

“Shut  _ up _ , goobus,” Lup laughed. “Apology accepted, alright?”

“Alright!” Taako grinned.

There was a  _ lot _ of apologizing to do, even if they all claimed that it was “okay”. That it wasn’t “his fault”. Taako wanted to object but kept quiet about it. Right now, he was just happy to be with his family. To have them know him and to have him know  _ them _ .

As a group, they decided that therapy would be very much needed. To have someone to talk to, at the very least, would be good. So in the coming months, Taako went almost religiously. He would show up at the office with a strawberry smoothie in hand and heart-shaped sunglasses, plopping himself into the therapist visitor chair, the pure definition of “oh god, please help me” shining through.

They healed together. They worked together. They grew  _ closer _ together, especially him and Kravitz.

And, three and a half months after regaining his memories, Taako popped the question. It was when they were sneaking away from “family movie night” (which usually consisted of Lup loudly criticizing every movie that was picked, except when it was her turn, Magnus crying at all and any sad or just plain emotional scenes, and Merle perking up whenever a  _ plant  _ appeared on screen). They stood in the driveway of Lup and Barry’s house, under the few stars that were actually in the sky with all the light pollution, and talked for a while. Taako, who had been carrying around the ring and practicing his speech every day for a  _ week _ prior, got down on one knee. He saw Kravitz against the dark blue sky, lit up ever so brightly by the half-moon, and completely messed up his speech.   
  


“Fuck, Krav, I had some real beautiful words for you but I  _ cannot _ for the  _ life of me _ remember any of them right now, so like… do you wanna get married?”

Like Magnus had said so many months ago, Kravitz said yes, stumbling over his words as Taako had stumbled through his “speech”. They embraced and just had a full-blown make-out session on the porch until Merle came out to check on them and promptly mimicked throwing up. 

And now, at their wedding, the accident seemed like a lifetime ago. Taako looked at himself in the mirror, adjusting the flower in his hair once more, feeling nervous. Lup was standing next to him and it was as if she knew how he was feeling because she smiled gently, adjusted the light blue flower into the perfect position and told him,

“Don’t feel too nervous now, Koko. You’re gonna get your outfit all sweaty before Kravitz even lays eyes on you.”

“I knoooow,” Taako whined, hands dropping to his side as he fidgeted. “I’m trying my best here, Lulu.”

“I know,” Lup said, seriously for once. They locked eyes and she grinned. “You’re gonna do great, trust me.”

When Lup walked him down the aisle, Taako wasn’t focusing on feeling nervous or sweaty anymore. He looked into Kravitz’s eyes the whole way down, both of them grinning and giddy and feeling silly. Merle was their officiator, because who could honestly pass up the opportunity for Merle  _ fucking _ Highchurch to officiate their wedding? Certainly not Kravitz and Taako.

They stood across from each other and Taako could barely  _ believe  _ this was happening right now. He stared at Kravitz’s face and then glanced up to his hair, where a flower matching Taako’s own sat. He grinned wider and noticed Kravitz did too.

A light blue flower classified as one of the Scorpion Grasses was the perfect choice for them. The flower seemed to glow in the light and Taako thought that it certainly lived up to its more common name.

_ The Forget-Me-Nots _ .

**Author's Note:**

> SO!!! You made it through!! Congrats!! I really hope you enjoyed and it would be very much appricated if you left a comment/kudos!!! My tumblr is @magnus-and-his-doggos if you wanna check it out. Have a lovely day/night!


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